Unloved
by Chloe Chamberleign
Summary: "Dean, open this door! I'm going to count to three!" I'm surprised you can count at all. "One!" Don't Count. "Two!" Oh God. Huh, I didn't know you had it in you to break the door down. "Dean-what the hell...oh my God!" Don't cry, mom. "Why, baby, why!" I'm doing this for you, Mama. Rated T for Language


**_Dean: 16 and Sam: 11 I know, I know, I made Mary mean in this one. Very OOC. I just got bored._**

Dean Winchester, you're nobody. You're a useless nobody. You'll forever be like your father, a no good piece of crap. You'll always be worthless. You'll be a screw-up, exactly like him. You'll end up with two bastard kids, exactly like him. You'll beat your own wife, exactly like him. The world would be a better place if you weren't on it.

I suck; my life sucks. If it wasn't my father coming after me with a belt, making me the cowering nobody I am; it's my mom shouting how much she regrets having me.

I just wanna die. I've never been loved, at least, not by anyone that mattered. Sammy's too young to understand why they scream at us all the time. But mostly me.

Too weak to cut myself with a razor. I don't want a slow painful death. My dad's gun is handy. It's the only thing I'll thank him for. Maybe locking myself in the room Sammy and I share wasn't a good idea. Sammy's at elementary school, so he won't have to watch.

Mom would take it out on Sammy if any of my blood spilled on the floor, staining the rug. Her OCD has rubbed off on Sammy_. "Dean, fold your fucking laundry." "Maybe I should make you and your brother wear your dirty clothes every day to show everyone at school how disgusting you both are." "You will be just like that father of yours. Worthless and ignorant. I should have thrown myself down the stairs."_

Hopefully I'll be doing you one of the biggest favors ever, Mom. No more screaming at me for playing with Sammy. You'll never have to have Dad beat me again for comforting Sammy when he has a nightmare. You won't have to see Dad's resemblance in my face anymore. You can have Sammy all to yourself now, like you and Dad always wanted.

"Dean, open this door now!"

Banging on the door won't do much for you.

"No wonder why you don't have any friends. You're such a loner."

Please. Just. Stop.

"You think you're so tough? Just wait till my husband gets home."

Oh God, I can't wait till Dad gets home. Just so he can creep into my room in the night and drag me down to the basement so you or Sammy can't hear my screams.

"Get your lazy ass out here now."

Do you recall the time I saved you from Dad when he kicked you while you were pregnant with Sam? I took the blows instead. Even though Sammy is my brother by blood, you still treat him like he's the only son you have.

"Dean, I will call the fucking cops to break down this door!"

Hey let's kick back to the time you made me scrub every floor in the house. Did I complain? Not one word.

"I'm going to count to three, you little shit!"

I'm surprised you can count at all.

"One!"

Don't count.

"Two!"

Oh God.

Huh. I didn't know you had it in you to break a door down. **BANG. **Damn finger slipped on the trigger.

"Dean—what the hell... Jesus fucking Christ!"

Yeah, fuck God, fuck John Winchester, fuck me. I've heard that one before.

"Dean what happened?!"

What happened? Are you blind?

"Dean? Wake up! Wake up, Dean, come on!"

Wake up? I don't think anyone can wake up from a bullet to the chest.

"Are you dead?!"

Am I dead? Am I dead?! Well, yes. Yes I am, Mom. I have passed on. I am no more. I have ceased to be. I have expired and gone to meet my maker. I'm frozen. Deprived of life. I rest in peace. If I didn't I didn't shoot myself I'd be pushing up daisies! My metabolic processes are no history! I'm off the twig! I've kicked the bucket! I've shuffled off the mortal coil! Run down the curtain and joined the friggin' choir invisible! I . . . AM AN EX . . . PERSON! GODDDD!

Don't you cry for me, you'll cause a scene. Oh, shit there's Sammy, he just walked through the door. Oh God, Sammy no. Don't start.

"Call the police! Dammit Sam go call! Your brother is dying!"

"Dean-" His voice is trembling. Great. I screwed things up for Sammy.

"Do it!"

"Mom..."

"Why sweetie why?"

But why are you crying? You actually…care?

"Dean-"

"I-I'm sorry for using Dad's gun."

"No, baby, no. Please stay with me."

"D-don't be m-mad."

"Mad?"

"At me. Didn't mean t-to miss sh-shooting myself i-in the h-head."

"Breath, baby, please breath."

"I h-hate dis-disappointing you and dad. T-take care of Sammy. S-sorrrry I-I wasss such a m-mist-t-take."

*********************A Month Later************************

"You'll be fine here. It's only temporary."

Whatever.

"You can come home when you're all better."

So in other words you're dumping me at a mental hospital. Why don't you disown me while you're at it?

"I'm doing this for your own good. You're acting so uptight."

And you pointing out the obvious is what, helpful? Who pissed on your cheerios? How come know it all moms don't know how annoying they are.

"Dean?"

I will myself to speak. "You're not doing this to help me."

"You've got a big mouth." Typical response from her. I've got a big mouth? Well I don't sugar coat shit, I'm not Willy Wonka. If you don't like what's on my mouth then you would hate what's on my mind. "You're so immature."

I don't wanna grow up, it's a trap. "My level of maturity depends on who I'm with."

"You're so annoying." I hate her mocking tone. I hate when she calls me annoying. I'm well aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I would rather be a shot of tequila anyway. I hear there's a new app called sense of humor. Download it!

Hm, that guy in the doctor suit who's looking at me funny doesn't look like a shrink.

"I'm Dr. Keith Woods. Welcome to Oak Tree Institution."

If you're waiting for me to care, pack a lunch. It's gonna be a while.

"Mom?"

"Follow Dr. Woods."

Down what? The yellow-brick road to solitary confinement?

"I know you'll be fine here."

Unless you're Google, stop acting like you know everything. Getting in an argument with her is like getting arrested, everything I say can and will be used against me.

"Bye, Mom."

"I'll miss you."

Why do I have the feeling you won't?


End file.
